Learning to Draw!

I bought a new toy this weekend. It's a Wacom Bamboo tablet. It's like having a huge laptop track pad for my computer. Yum. yum yum.....it's like nerd ice cream for my brain!

And I drew this:

It's a cow. It makes me happy. Very happy!

I hope this makes you happy too!

Preventing the Rage

Men really are like children.

I don't mean this in a condescending, women are superior kind of way. Certainly not.

But really, they are. Men are prone to fits or tantrums just like most children. The trigger is different for every guy and it's up to us gals to be able to see it and jump in to prevent it.

Boyfriend gets the 'rage' when he's cooking. He love's to cook. When he's making dinner it's like a 5 star restaurant complete with sous chef. All 5 of those people have crammed themselves into his body. He's moving and shaking. He's twisting and turning. Our cramped galley style kitchen is not big enough for more than one person so he's grabbing something from here and twisting to put it on the stove over there. It's a lot of fun to watch. Until....

There comes the inevitable moment when he must retrieve a baking sheet/cuttingboard/pan from the overstuffed microscopic cabinet where we keep such things. I see it in slow motion from the kitchen table where I'm offering moral support and conversation.

He bends down to open the door, as the door to the cabinet is opening I can hear his blood pumping through his veins, I can hear his heart palpitating. He reaches his hand into the cabinet - And that is when I jump up and run over to him and say, "Honey, what do you need?" He stands up and immediately calms down. His response, "The round casserole dish." I then move a few steps to the right and get the casserole dish out of the proper cabinet on the other side of the sink. Imagine what would have happened if I hadn't jumped in? There would have been banging and crashing and all kinds of chaos.

I'm not the only woman who has learned to prevent the impending rage from our manchildren. Gnats was explaining to me the crackers she has to now keep in her purse at all times in order to keep the beast at bay.

We learn these things because we love them, maybe this is how nature teaches us women how to deal with unruly children. I'm trying to learn as much as I can!

Sisters

Boyfriend and I were discussing having children recently. He said you can't have just one, like they are potato chips or something. But I think he may have point.

I've always been given over to the selfish thoughts of "well if I didn't have a sister then..."

But as I get older I realize that having a little sister taught me a lot.

I don't really feel like expounding on the lessons I've learned, everything from sharing to how to depend on someone else. I'd rather share the fun stories.

Biner (it's pronounced "beener" )and I would fight. But if someone else said one wrong thing about her I would kill them. Still to this day. I know she would do the same.

I had someone with whom the Parents were a common enemy, someone who would cover for me and I them.

And as I get older, I have someone I can talk to about those rare rare things that can't be given to Boyfriend, Best Friend or friend. They can only be shared with Sister. I have many Sisters. I have Older Sister, Little Sister and Baby Sister. And each of them shares a different part of that which is Me. I'm...not sure which one I am. I am Middle Sister but I really don't deserve that honor. That goes to Biner. She's the one who was truly raised as the Middle Sister. I'm the black sheep. Maybe because I made myself that way or maybe because that is who I am.

But I digress.

Biner, Middle Sister, Little Sister has always been the one who stands up For me, who stands up To me and stands up With me. She's like no other person in my life and I am eternally grateful for her place in my existance.

She's not always the most affectionate person but she has always been there to help me out. Be it when I'm thinking about ending a 6 year relationship or when I'm struggling keeping on track with a diet. I'll always remember the strange paper and string note delivery system we designed for the hallway growing up and the time when I vacuumed her hair. Oh, and that scar on her forehead that no one can really remember how it got there...did I push her or did she fall?

Yeah, my Little Sister is awesome.

Crap, I think he just proved his point without even having to be involved with the conversation.

Here's to You, all you Big, Older, Middle, Little, Baby Sisters, you make life worth living!

-big, older, middle sister

Phone From Car

I like to take photos of funny things that I see. But sometimes I just don't have a camera, so I use my eyes and MS Paint. I have a favorite blog called Hyperbole and a Half. It's pretty much all in MS Paint and super funny. I want to preface this by saying that I am inspired by her blog a great deal and thought it would be a fun avenue for my stortelling. That being said....

Boyfriend is going to the local university for Communications. This means that he makes pretty pictures with the computer and makes videos with people and computers. I was allowed to visit the set of a the class's final project.

Now, to get to Boyfriend's college I have to drive through one of the worst, poorest, most dangerous neighborhoods in my city.

I came to a stop sign and finally understood how people make calls while 'on the road' when they don't have cell phones.





You see, a person drives up to the Phone From Car and inserts small round metal pieces into a plastic box. He then pushes in numbers on a keypad, like on the keyboard on your computer. He listens while the phone rings alerting the person with the cell phone that a Phone From Car is calling. Once the person on the other line answers he then speaks and conveys the messages that he has. Now, since he only has round metal pieces to use to make the call and not a Family Network Super Global Never Run Out Of Minutes plan he has to make his communications brief.

At the end of the call he then hangs the plastic handle/mouthpiece/earphone back onto the plastic box with the keys and the money holes. He can then drive around the corner to pick up his favorite malt beverage of choice, knowing that he is also a member of the 21st century by Phoneing From Car.

-Celling from car

The Sex Alarm

My friend, Gnats, recently posed the question of mistimed libidos. She has gotten to the comfortable stage in her relationship where the sex part has become optional. Not like when they first started dating where it was a necessity. Only, it's not her hormones that have slowed things down, it's him.

Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, he treats her right and takes care of the house and loves her dog and make yummy dinner. But the sex hasn't been as forthcoming as she would like.

It's about timing.

She gets up for work, get ready and is about to leave when he says, 'Hey baby, wanna snuggle for a second?" Now, she explained to me that this is the secret phrase for sexy time. Sadly, she has to leave the house unfulfilled because she has that darned thing called work that she must go to. When she gets home, his sails have deflated from the long day and sex is the furthest thing from him mind.

I once had this same issue. I wanted it in the morning before I went to work, you know, start your day off right, but he had to leave too early. So I used a sex alarm.

It's nothing fancy, you have all the tools at hand that you will need. An alarm clock and the willingness to get up a little early for that which you want.

I explained that she just needed to set her alarm clock 30 minutes to allow for the early morning workout. It might take a few false starts to get him into the routine but eventually it will become a lovely habit.

I just thought I would share my advice with the ether since it seemed to help her so much. Even if she doesn't use the sex alarm it got her thinking in different directions and taking control of what she wanted and just find a way to get it.

-not a morning person

Friendly Girls and Girly Friends

This past week has really shown me that women need friends.

At some point in our lives, we women are single. We find our selves comfortable with our singleness. We build strong relationships with our best friends and the other women in our lives.


And then, we meet Him. No, not the religious God version, mind you. He is the guy that becomes the single most important thing in our life. For the first few months of the relationship we slowly lose touch with both ourselves and the relationships we have built with the women in our lives.

Then one day we wake up. We wake up and see that our guy has friends, hobbies, school or work and we have Him. Hmmm. We temporarily lost ourselves but the strong relationships we built haven't weakened, they've only been in stasis for a time.


We pick up where we left off.


This last week two of my friends confided in me that they realized that they needed more of what we refer to as Girl Time. It might be something as simple as a Pilates class followed by a glass of wine, or just an hour watching trashy tv and talking about clothes and shoes and the best place to find cheap designer jeans.


Mind you, we're aren't the shallow women who's lives are all about shopping shopping shopping and E entertainment channel. We are the gals who spend time at work, school, with our guys and trying to better our lives. All that responsibility blended with the day to day life causes the fun girly stuff to sit in the shoe box at the top of our closets, getting dusty.


But unlike the jeans that we put on the top shelf, we don't grow out of the fun.


So yeah, I'm looking forward to my two evenings this week with my lovely gal pals.

-wine and watching

Rainy Day

[It was the rainy day background but I've changed it...I love change....]
I chose this layout for a reason. A good reason. Don't laugh or I'll send at least 5 roaches to lick your dishes. (ewwwwwwww..... that's really grossss!)

I love rain.

My best friend Heater, loves rain.

We decided together that rain means good things coming. We have a paper journal where 'it is written' that rain means good things are coming.

All the crazy good things that have happened in our lives have stemmed from rain storms.

That one time we laid down in our panties and nothing else in the giant puddle in the front yard... that was a good time, it was our 'baptism as sisters in freshwater'. It means and meant a lot to me.

That other time we took home two sad depressed young men from the bar and danced with them nakedish in the front yard in the rain...that was amazing (his fiance had cheated on him and the other's girlfriend had dumped him, this is when we started thinking of ourselves as 'vacation girls').

Heater asked me "where's the bag Lisa?!" for a while because we couldn't find the bag that had glasses, beers and cell phones in it, I had hidden it in the bedroom closet because I didn't want
her to find it and drink more and get ( more drunk and sad....")

Or, the rainfall that happened the night my father has his emergency brain surgery to release the swelling that had accumulated when he had his car accident....

Long story short:

dad had car accident - refused MRI..
got headaches.....
took aspirin.....
had thinning blood on brain...
fell off of ladder 2 months later....
thought he was having a stroke....
NO! It was the hemorrhage he had been having for two months finally deciding to make an appearance!

It was a horrible sad sweet time in the Neurological ICU with my Mother who was trying to make herself pretty for her husband when he came out of surgery. I love my mom. She's the typical 1950's housewife and I hope my dad appreciates her. I know I do.

Yes. So my dad almost died. He had a terrible brain surgery that sent my family to the hospital, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, etc. in the middle of downtown, in the middle of a dreanching downpour to make me realize that the rain really does make everything ok.

Yeah, it was hard to explain to my mom and sisters why I was so calm but I think the fact that I was so calm helped them.

My dad survived. He's got some stories though. He was the only one to hear, "You're being released...." out of the 6 people in his pod. 1 out of 6. Those where his stats. Scary.

And the whole time, my mom was concerned that she would be pretty when my dad came out of surgery. I would be too. You want the one YOU care about most to see a beautiful angel in the light of your foggy mind when you step away from the brink of death.

I hope my dad sees that beautiful angel everytimes he wakes up in the morning. Because he deserves it and so does she.

-hoping the raindrops keep falling

Inspiration

I'm an inspired girl. It's partially the lack of snow and the fact that I'm stuck inside with nothing to do but write. I love to write. I have things to say. They may be wise, they may be drunk, they may ingorant but I have words in my head that want to see the world.

[i'm reminded by a music video by Death Cab For Cutie... the music notes traveling the country, some dying, some making it to the destination]

Go on a trip with me (that's what Heater and I always say when we are trying to show a point, most people call it a 'parable' or something, we just call it a trip...)

ab-er-rant adjective
1. Departing from an accepting standard
2. Diverging from the normal type

Once upon a time I had to create a username for AOL (my very first account as an adult, long story) this being circa 2003. AOL stated that you should not use the dictionary to create your usename. I never understood this but I went against the norm and did it. I found the word aberrant. I liked what it meant. So I created a nickname, a femanized, basterdized, nickname from that word and I liked it's description because it was ME. Abberatia was born. Let's just pretend it was April, 5, 2003. (Yes, my birthday is April 5, 1979)

I've had a blog on Livejournal since 2003 but I've always used it as more or less my outlet. My place to have a diary that wouldn't get wet, or burned, or full, or read by anyone I didn't give permission. My father always told me that if I didn't want someone to know something I should never write it down.

It bit me in the ass because there was a lot about my life I never wrote because I was scared about who would read it. There were times that were quite tumultuous in my life that I never mentioned because it wasn't exaclty OK with everyone around me. Regardless, I would write my little heart out. I would say what was on my mind when I felt it was ok. I would write the optomistic sweet sincere genuine posts that would never hurt anyone's feelings but would get the point accross. I did it for the "Future Me". I wrote them so the Me that I am now would understand the Me I was then.

Those days are slowly passing. I'm getting to the point in my life where I need more organization. I'm getting to the points where all my "ducks" are in a row. I'm in a great relationship, my 8 year old (or so) dog has finally learned to roll over, I have a fun job and I really like the new over the door shoe rack I just bought from the Container Store.

I'm old enough to not care who reads it, mainly because, you never know, there may be some kid out there who just hit 26 and really could use a laugh, or some advice or maybe just a distraction. I would absolutely love to be that distraction!

So, here I am. A 31 year old female, sitting on the couch with a laptop watching my boyfriend and my dog, Mr. Stanton and his best friend Bear hanging out talking about life while we go to the bar. Toby, Aka Tobes, Tobykins, etc. just sits on the couch with Boyfriend and takes it.

Yeah, there is a lot in my life involved with the dog and the boyfriend and the friends of the boyfriend, and even the friends of the dog.

Prepare yourself. There will be deep thoughts. There will photos. There will be drawings. There will insights into my life and insights into the lives of my best firends. I've made a lot of "best friends" along the way, some of them are frends of my dog, some are friends of my job, and some of them are friends of Boyfriend.

Yeah, I'm a lucky gal. And I have a lucky life.

-happy in this place